Negotiate Like An FBI Agent

Handshake Photo Credit Flazingo.com

Your negotiating skills come into play more often than you might realize. Whether it be negotiating your salary, the price of a car, or how much to spend on your mother-in-law’s birthday present, your ability to negotiate will play a key factor in getting what you want. I recently read Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage crisis negotiator. Voss realized he was on to something when he met with some of the top trained business negotiators in the country and was able to consistently out negotiate them using the techniques he learned with the FBI. He developed those techniques further and shared them in his book (which is as entertaining as it is informative). Here are some of the top tips he offered:

1. Don’t be straight forward.

This seems counter-intuitive as it makes sense that you should be able to gain good favor by being open and honest with your negotiating counterpart. But Chris says that being direct and asking for what you want is often found as offensive. Cutting to the chase can feel like an attack and put the other party on the defensive.  Instead, slow down and listen. Give your counterpart a chance to tip their hand.

2. Use an “Accusation Audit.”

This is a technique where you lay out all the arguments the other party is going to have against meeting your requests. “List the worst things that the other party could say about you,” Chris says, “and say them before the other person can.” This lets them know you understand their position while at the same time,  defusing your counterpart’s ability to use them tactically against you. In his book, Chris gives the example of a recent truck he purchased. He told the salesperson early on that he knew the truck was worth more than he was offering to pay for it. Because Chris beat him to the punch, the salesperson sitting across from him had no explanation to offer Chris for why he should pay more.

3. Don’t be in a rush to get them to say “yes.”

More and more people are getting wise to modern day sales techniques that are designed to give no option but for the pitched to say “yes.” In fact people have been conditioned to go ahead and say “yes”, even when they don’t mean it, just so they can get the salesperson to shut up and end the presentation. Of course they’ll give some reason later why they aren’t going to buy after all. Secondly, people naturally want to say “no.” Saying “no” helps people feel like they’ve protected themselves from getting taken advantage of. After being able to say “no,” people tend to relax and become more open. Ask questions that give your negotiating counterpart the opportunity to say “no”.

Chris gives this example:

“You call somebody up on the phone and say, “Have you got a few minutes to talk?” That will make anybody tighten up. Immediately they want to say “no” to that, because they know if they say “yes”, they’re going to get hooked in and be kept on the phone. The opposite is to say, “Is now a bad time to talk?”

4. “That’s right.”

If you can get your counterpart to say specifically, “That’s right,” you’ve forged excellent rapport and they feel that you understand their point of view. The easiest way to get to “that’s right” is to paraphrase what they’ve already said to you. Then they know you’re listening and understanding. Conversely, hearing the words “you’re right” is a warning that they may be trying to brush you off.

5. “How am I supposed to do that?”

Chris suggests using “how” questions to get your counterpart working for you.  “How am I supposed to do that?” is one of the best questions you can use. This question is deceptively powerful. It’s a way of playing dumb that doubles as an incredibly graceful way to say no. The magic behind asking this question is that it puts your negotiation counterpart in your shoes and trying to solve your problem. Asking, “How am I supposed to do that?” can prompt the other party to grant concessions and the best part is that you know they’re okay with the concessions because, well, they were their idea.

Chris used “how” questions in his hostage negotiations repeatedly: ““How do we know the hostage is safe?” “We don’t have that kind of money. How are we supposed to get it?” “But how do we deliver the ransom to you?”

Eventually they get to the point where they’ll tell you, “Well, you’re just going to have to figure that out.” That’s when you know you’re getting down to the bottom of what they’re willing to give. Even then, it lets you know that you’ve negotiated just about as much value as you can. From there you have to ask yourself, “Do I like this? Do I want to go in a different direction?”

In Never Split the Difference, Chris offers a ton of other great techniques. I’ve enjoyed using the tips from above successfully and hope you’ll be able to do the same.